The Center for Disease Control keeps annual stats on sexually transmitted diseases, and the results for 2010 were rather revealing. Here's a look at how Mississippi fared in gonorrhea rates:
That's right, that's us in second place behind D.C. But since D.C. is a District and not a state...WE'RE NUMBER 1!!! WE'RE NUMBER 1!!! Woohoo! Let's have a parade! Well, how about chlamydia? Oh, so CLOSE! Alaska, of all places, beat us by a nose.
Well, what about syphilis? You know, the STD that the government used in human experiments at Tuskegee? Well, we couldn't quite pull off the clean sweep of being the dirtiest state. Louisiana took the honors there, with D.C. still leading the pack:
I think we all owe a hearty round of applause to the abstinence-only proponents who made this possible. Thanks, guys and gals, but let's not stop there! Just think, with a few more years of teaching the young women of Mississippi to prevent pregnancy by pinching a penny between their knees, we'll have that top spot all to ourselves! Go, Mississippi! Keep rolling along!
Thanks to MensHealth.com for the graphics.